Friday, November 23, 2012

My life is bro

I have spent a lot of time today looking at and I don't have anything profound to say about this.

They like to call girls "slams" and "slampieces." Here is the kind of thing on

And this is from Total Frat Move:

 Above: The rice makes it too balanced, I think.

It is surprising to me that part of being an online bro is pissing people off. I thought of bro culture as mainly white college guys drinking beer and trying to get laid, but it has a significant trollish aspect as well. It's rambunctious, humorous, half-ironic, misogynistic, patriotic and self-congratulatory and it's not as uniquely American as it seems (cf Australia).

For the slightly more couth/scrubbed/consumery side of things, there's Chubbies shorts. They're short-shorts in pastel colors that come in blue cardboard boxes that have "Boomshakalaka!" printed on the inside of the lid. The customers are young men who are "freeing their thighs from the tyranny of pants." They are called Chubbies because they have an elastic waist. There's a lot of rhetoric about liberation, complete with a photo of the founders with protest posters that say things like "I hate pants." Meanwhile the products are innocuous, vintage-inspired cotton short-shorts in colors like lavender and hot pink. (Bro hats also makes use of a brightly-colored vintage-inspired aesthetic. Those trucker hats seem so hipsterish, but unlike hipsters, bros seem to embrace their bro identity, and I think they're more into trucker hats because they're outrageous and tacky than because you can find them in thrift shops and revel in your own random weirdness/vague cultural criticism, or whatever. An orange hat that says "Rage" switches irony-type entirely when worn on a Bro's head or a hipster's head.)

These shorts have had a lot of commercial success (especially at my old high school), which is surprising given that their advertising copy is trying so hard that it seems like their target would catch the whiff of pandering that is the death of cool:

Key tenets of the new legislation under the Chubmander-in-Chief:
*Everyone must be awesome. At all times. No exceptions.
*Anyone caught discussing their "career" is sentenced to three shotguns. A day. For the rest of their lives.
*Barbecue grants to all citizens.
*Extensive investment in cutting edge research on the use of pants as a new form of fossil fuel - maybe they do have a use in this world.
*Any disagreements must be resolved via a karate wood-breaking competition. Using only one's thigh.
*We've decided against the season of Winter. Yup, simple as that. In fact, we'll just go with Summer all the time. Done.

But I know nothing. I hope that Emily and Charlotte will write their long-awaited book, "Towards a Bro Aesthetic," so I can learn.


No comments:

Post a Comment