Saturday, March 30, 2013

The asymmetrical face

Q: What would I look like to myself, if I saw myself for the first time ever, just walking down the street? Or, what would it look like if I had a twin who grew up someplace totally different?

1. Take a Photobooth photo of yourself looking straight ahead, in a neutrally lit environment.
2. Paste this photo 4 times to your desktop
3. Using preview, flip 2 of the 4 horizontally, to get a mirror image
4. Crop two of the photos to be just the left half of the face, and two of the photos to be just the right half of the face (you have to cleave them straight down the nose)
5. Combine the two left-halves (but one will be mirror-imaged) into one face, and do the same with the two right-halves
You now have two almost-versions of you. One is made of just the left half of your face, doubled. The other is made of just the right half of your face.
Like this.

This is a disgusting thing to do and it will make you hate yourself, but I've done it three times.

I also just learned that sometimes old zits leave gray craters in your cheeks. Does living on a farm in the woods with the only available mirror the size and lucidity of a cookie sheet make you think about your body more positively? WHY WOULD IT?

It does make you feel more positive about your smells, though. Thank god for smells. It's so nice to come into your wretched little cabin and have it smell like your bedroom at home. It's nice to be struggling through crotch-deep snow in the icy and minding-its-own-business wilderness, and breathe into your scarf.

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