Foods for sadness

 Totto Ramen, Manhattan

If you're too sad to eat normal food, here are some fail-proof options:

1. Greek Gods honey flavored yogurt With 47% your daily value of saturated fat per serving, to accompany your breaking heart on its way down

2. Totto Ramen If you can manage to drag yourself from your bed up to Hell's Kitchen, this is the best sad-person soup I've ever had

2. Green and Black's Milk Chocolate with toffee Pace Bernachon, this one has such a sticky, dulce-de-leche-ish high-pitched taste that just tastes like something you could eat even when you're too sad to eat (and it tastes uncannily just like the Carrefour organic milk chocolate that they sell in Italian Carrefours)

One Poem for the Day

The Rhythms Pronounce Themselves Then Vanish

After they told me the CT showed
there was nothing wrong with my stomach
but my heart was failing, I plunked
one of those weird two-dollar tea balls
I bought in Chinatown and it bobbed
and bloomed like a sea monster and tasted
like feet and I had at this huge
chocolate bar I got at Trader Joe’s
and didn’t answer the door even though
I could see it was UPS with the horse
medication and I thought of that picture
Patti took of me in an oval frame. Sweat
itself is odorless, composed of water,
sodium chloride, potassium salts,
and lactic acid; it’s the bacteria growing
on dead skin that provides the stench.
The average life span of a human taste bud
is seven to ten days. Nerve pulses
can travel up to a hundred and seventy miles per hour.
All information is useless.
The typical lightning bolt
is one inch wide and five miles long.

--Dean Young

The crusty pleasure

Fine French dining at its finest. I eat this like 25 times a day.